No, not to boast… I only want to introduce myself! I am a person you would love to meet and even more – to become friends with. From my early age, I assumed a role of a producer in life, I make things happen. I got to choose all the special effects and the tricks, as well as scenery and decorations. I’m not naïve, I understand that real life can have some crooked turns, but I’m clever enough to avoid them. I am my own chief and my own inspector. I’m a lavish spender, but always have more than enough to sustain myself. I cannot be manipulated by others and I’m not a looser. I’m simply exempt from life’s problems. I am a walking miracle… But I usually don’t talk about all that, I let people around me figure it out by themselves.
That year I was in the middle of my college studies. It was a spring time and all the students loved to hang out in the park during breaks. I stood under a blossoming tree, imagining a magnificent unfold of my soon future, as I saw a new face. “I’ve got to check her out,” - I said to myself and went to meet a girl who only recently arrived to the campus.
“I was here two years ago, - she explained to a small group of students around her, - But I had to miss a year and a half. I needed to take care of my grandmother… Now she died and I came back to my study.”
“Seems like a large overdo of family duties. I surely would have found some kind of a compromise"… - I commented and walked away… But I noticed that everyone else in the college was drawn to her, on every break there were students surrounding her – chatting, laughing, simply having fun. I wondered: “What is so special about her? She doesn’t seem to be too hard of a nut to crack… I should give it a try!” - I finally decided.
It was a last day of study before the Passover holiday, I approached her during the break and went straight on:
“Are you free tonight?”
She smiled and didn’t answer a word. I continued:
“I invite you out to a really nice place, you will love it…”
“I don’t really know you” – she finally responded.
“Oh, no problem. We can solve that easily. I’m not a criminal, I’m sober-minded… and when we go out, I promise to tell you about myself – all the details you would want to know!”
She kept thinking for couple more minutes and then came up with a totally unexpected answer:
“I’m going to the house of my grandparents for the holiday; tonight, it will be a big family gathering for a Passover meal… I invite you instead to come with me and meet my family.”
I was so content, assuming that she was even more interested in me than I’m in her:
“Sounds like the best offer for tonight! How far is that?”
“It is a long way, about three hours. Plus, the tunnel is closed and you will have to drive on a narrow mountain road… it might take even longer…” - she explained…
“Time for action!” - I acclaimed, as she sat down next to me in my new car. I turned the key and off we went. I was so excited about my quick success and started to hum a happy tune.
“So, we have three hours to chat. You wanted to get to know me… You may ask anything you want to know!” – I started a conversation.
“What do you do on your free time, beside the study? What’s your life about?” – followed her question.
I leaned back on my comfortable chair and announced: “I am a producer in life, I make things happen. I’m my own stunt man and my own hero. I’m smart and can easily get along with life. I was simply born this way. I’ve got a lucky piece of life’s cake and now I’m preparing a sensation for the whole filmmaking industry!”
I surely expected some sort of admiration to my introduction, but she didn’t demonstrate any of that.
“So, it’s all about you and your grandeur…” – she concluded and quieted down.
“Then, maybe we should start with you… What’s your life is about? - I asked her in return.
“I am a simple person. Life is fascinating to me. I really love to study in the college… but I also loved to simply take care of my grandmother. She was a wonderful woman! She taught me how to trust the Almighty God as a life Producer. The time I spent in their house, was priceless! I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned things that you can never learn in college…”
“What for example?” – I interrupted her.
She thought for a minute.
“A lesson of breaking through to life: Every flower, for example, being a bud, is locked and hidden in the beginning, but as it grows, it bursts through into a different dimension for the whole world to enjoy its fragrance and its magnificent blossom! Or a butterfly… It is locked in the cocoon until the day it’s ready to be released and then miraculously that cocoon cracks and breaks open and the butterfly is free and the beauty is spread all around! Look! Even this beautiful sunset… - she pointed to the sky, - this amazing beauty will be locked in the darkness of the night until the breaking of a dawn.
The Almighty God as a Producer, always includes a scene of breaking through to life. The output will depend on our cooperation, I mean if we choose to follow His original script.”
She was so near and unapproachable in the same time. As if she was living in a realm that required a certain password key to enter in. I kept wondering “Where should I start?”
She seemed to be reading my thoughts and continued: “There is a gap between us and life is so much better on the other side.”
I got out my usual answer: “How much do I need to defray to get onto the other side? Come on... tell me. I’ve got what it takes.”
“I don’t doubt that you do… - she smiled, - it will cost you everything you’ve got.”
“That’s blunt exaggeration!”
“It always looks like that from afar.”
I didn’t agree to lose that game:” Hey, are we getting any closer?
Actually, we were stuck in traffic on that narrow mountain road.
“Let’s take a shortcut someplace, - I suggested, - I have good tires.”
“No, you can’t make any shortcuts here, - interrupted the girl, pointing at the road workers all around, - they are digging this mountain in many places, holes are everywhere.”
“Hmm… what for? Is there something special around here?” - I inquired. “They are searching for an ancient Portal. Somewhere inside this mountain there is a secret tunnel that leads to it.”
“Now they can only find some old ruins, - I commented with a voice of an expert.
“No, it’s still there, - she insisted, - and it is a doorway into the miraculous! They don’t talk about it openly, but I know.”
“How?” – I questioned her.
“My grandmother told me… right before she died.”
We both got silent for a few minutes. She continued: “Every day people come to protest against this project, all those excavations are very inconvenient for the travelers… But I believe that this Portal is so important and if those workers can help other people to discover it, it will be a miracle in itself.”
After three and a half hours of driving in the traffic we arrived to our destination. Children of all ages were running around.
“My grandfather lives alone now, - explained the girl, - all the others are here for the special occasion.”
I got introduced to everyone and finally we all sat down at the big table. “Not to overeat”, - I ordered to myself as one of the women brought in the meat from the oven. I leaned towards my friend and asked her:
“Pass me that big slice, would you? I’m hungry.”
I hoped that no one would hear what I said to the girl, but obviously grandfather did. He sat right across from me at the table and watched me closely. Diving into his memories, he shook his head:
“Once I was exactly like you, young man, - he started, - Even in times where each member of my family had only one slice of bread a day, I was convinced that the biggest slice was always for me… Those were hungry times in the beginning of the war…
We lived in a diaspora in a city, on the border of a Jewish quarter… And then the persecution of the Jews started… Pogroms, nightmares. They would come suddenly in the night, first break and crush everything in the house and then kill the people themselves. Everyone was living in constant fear.
Everything inside me opposed that fear: “I’m not going to just sit here, waiting to be killed. I’m smarter than that! I’m going to help myself!” - with those thoughts I ran towards the Synagogue to hide there… only to see it bombed and crushed to the ground in front of my eyes… I kept running without a sense of direction, buildings exploding on each side…
Finally, when the bombing ceased, I found myself injured, laying on a bench of a Christian church. An old priest was taking care of my wounds. He told me that it was God Almighty who preserved my life miraculously. At that moment it didn’t make much sense to me and I didn’t care to understand. I spent a few days in his home to recover and hasted to join the army of opposition.
I became an audacious soldier and was accepted in a special squadron, which fought the hottest and most dangerous battles of the war. I was recklessly running into every battle and somehow managed to survive all of them. I really got a lucky lot in life…
Then I returned to the city I grew up in. The troops were already sent out from there. The war was almost over. Walking through the empty streets of the city late evening, I stopped by a bar. I imagined how in just a few days it will open again and I will sit there with a glass of bear and share my amazing stories…
And at that very moment a raid struck, and the building crumbled to the ground all around me. In a few minutes I opened my eyes and found myself firmly stuck under an enormous block of a wall… I could breathe and even move my arms, but I couldn’t get out of there.
“Couldn’t you cry for help grandpa?” - came to interrupt him the smallest of his grandchildren.
“Of cause I did, - he answered and put the kid on his lap, - many times, but no one came to rescue me. And I waited long… Desperate, I tried to pull my legs out of there with all my force… so strong, that I hurt my hip. I reached as far as I could with my hands, trying to find anything useful and the only thing I found was a piece of a broken mirror from the bar…”
“What a terrible fate” – I commented.
“But grandpa, you are here now! How could you get out finally?” – questioned the boy.
“I looked into that piece of a mirror and saw my face. I saw a miserable man, angry at the whole world… and now stuck in his pride. I wasn’t ready to die in that condition. At that moment I remembered the words of the priest and prayed to God Almighty. I gave my life over to Him and decided to serve Him, no matter how much more I had to live…
And all of a sudden, a miracle happened: that big block of a wall that I was stuck under, started to crack and literally broke into thousand little pieces, so that I could get up and go from there. I knew God did it! My life was preserved again, only this time I was limping.”
“Grandpa, I know! You’re talking about Jacob! We’ve studied this very chapter of Genesis last week at school. In verse thirty-one it says that Jacob was limping after fighting with the Angel by the brook. And that after that fight Jacob became Israel!”
The grandfather continued: “God never breaks His promises. See, fear of missing out on something advantageous in life put Jacob on the run. He considered life as some sort of a competition and was afraid to lose or even appear inferior to his own self-image. His life was locked on himself and his own interests, until God brought him through into a different kind of life, much bigger one… But you’re right, - he kissed the little boy on the forehead, - our experiences are quite similar: Looking into that mirror, I met myself for the very first time, committed my life into God’s hands and was transformed into a new man.”
“It was a very long story” - I commented with a yawn.
“Maybe it doesn’t make much sense to you now, young man, - the grandfather spoke directly to me, but every great life requires a splitting of some sort of a shell and breaking through into life. We all need deliverance from ourselves.”
“I’m skeptical about all this. To me it’s just polemics” - I responded.
It was getting late. I asked the girl: “Do you know a good place around here to meet for breakfast?”
She smiled again: “Yes, there is a beautiful little café called “By the brook”. It’s on the other side of that mountain, I love to walk there.
The grandfather overheard our conversation and spoke to me again:
“If you plan to be over here tomorrow, I can offer you a couch to sleep tonight. That winding narrow road is very dangerous in the dark… and stones might suddenly fall on your car…”
“Thanks for an offer, but I prefer to drive.” - I assured him.
The grandfather closed the conversation: “Whatever happens, the question is the same for everyone: ‘Where will you turn?’”
Upon those words I turned to the girl: “See you tomorrow by the brook.”
“See you in the morning, - she replied, - hope you’ll make it safe!”
I started driving back, making plans for tomorrow, my thoughts moved in a slow-motion: we’ll meet for breakfast, then sit by the brook, then… next thing I heard was a big stone that hit my car from the right side. I turned my head and saw that that first stone triggered the rockfall coming my way… In attempts to escape it, I turned the wheel abruptly to the left and… my car flew down into a hole, knocking against the rocks.
When I finally opened my eyes, I found myself at the bottom of a deep and narrow hole, stones everywhere… Wait! Where is my car? I looked up and saw it stuck between the rocks right above my head. I realized that right before hitting the bottom, the car hit the walls of the hole on both sides, it made a door open and I got ejected from it.
“That would make an impressive escape episode for a movie” -
I concluded and looked around to see where it will lead. But all I saw from every side were stones - different sizes and shapes, but only stones. The sand continued to pour down from the rocks on both sides and I understood that if I will wait here longer, my new car will fall on me and crush me to pieces!
“This cannot be the end! There must be an exit somewhere! Go find me that exit now! – I ordered as a producer my imaginary team. But nothing around me moved, except for the sand, which continued to penetrate from the cracks all around me. “I guess no one is available, - I concluded and went on my knees to seek for an exit… and to my surprise I saw a little light behind the stones. “Wow…This is history making! I am a genius! This is that secret tunnel that leads to an ancient Portal! This is my exit!” – I announced to myself and started to move the stones away. I had to hurry, because the collapse could happen any minute from now.
As I started to make small steps in that narrow tunnel, I’ve heard an explosion behind me. “Here goes my new car” – I thought out loud and turned around… but the avalanche created a stone wall right behind me. “Ok, I got the message, it’s a one-way tunnel now.” - I spoke to myself and continued to move towards the light.
Yet the biggest surprise was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. Right in the middle stood a giant stone statue of a man… so big, that it took all the space, and no one could pass through the Portal.
“Who could be such a fool to put his stature in this place?!?” - I thought and went closer to look… and recognized myself! It was really me and no one else – my face, my body, the way I stand, even my clothing… how come? I sat down to admire the statue but heard the sand behind me that continued to penetrate through the cracks. I had only couple of minutes… maybe even less. “No time for admiration, I need to get out of here before it might be too late. I need to get this ‘fellow’ out of the way fast!” - I decided and went into one-on-one fight with him.
“You are an insolent intruder! – I shouted at the giant. - I don’t allow you to stand here! You are fired!!” But the statue didn’t respond. I tried to insult him: “You are expired! You must get out of my way! I commend you to clear the passage immediately!!!” But the statue didn’t move to my commands. I started to throw stones in his face, but he didn’t seem to care. “This is a hard one to crack”, - I said and looked around… no chisel, no hammer. What can I possibly do with my bare hands? If I would have some explosive…
“Where will you turn?” – the words of the grandfather resounded in my head.
Behind me the sand avalanche was about to swallow me, rocks all around and my only exit was blocked by this stupid statue. I had nowhere to turn, unless… “Oh God! Deliver me from myself! - I cried, - Please take over, I don’t know the way out of here, but I want to follow You into a real life!”
That prayer happened to contain an explosive power… Within seconds my stature cracked and broke into thousand small pieces!
I stepped over that hip of stones into a beautiful valley, filled with flowers and saw my friend on the other side of a little brook. It wasn’t deep at all, even a child could cross it… She waved at me and smiled. I called out to her:
“Here I come… onto the other side!”
I never been so happy before… and I knew that God did it.